driving beyond your headlights
Right around this time of year, I hear from scared first-year law students after their grades are posted. Shocked and horrified, they question whether law school is the right place for them. "I've never gottten a B- in my life!" they tell me. It spirals from "I'll never get a clerkship, I'll never write onto Law Review" to "I'll never pay off my student debt" to "I'll be living in the street begging for change...." and usually by then, they start to laugh a little.
I don't know the outcome of a single grade on a student's future. Neither do they. Chances are very good that they will live to forget this.
The New York Times told us a few years ago that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan got a B- in her first year torts class. She went on, as we see evidenced by her life, to get other good grades, to experience other successes, and now, by all accounts, her life is pleasant, satisfying and productive. When I ask clients what they were worried about this time last year, they often get very quiet with the effort of recall. And frequently they can't quite remember what was flummoxing them twelve months ago. They know themselves well enough to know there was a crisis du jour, but can't pull the old worry out of mothballs. Try it. Frequently I have to resort to the calendar or journal to refresh my anxiety, which has now receded into the swamp of yesterday. Sometimes when I'm really lucky, those troubles even seem a little laughable under the scrutiny of today.
It can be incredibly anxiety-provoking to imagine ourselves too far into the future, especially in the middle of a tough experience or time of uncertainty. If you live in an urban world the metaphor of driving beyond your headlights won't work for you, but if you've ever driven down a dark country road at night, you'll know the term. You can't see beyond the light cast in front of the car; driving too quickly into the dark is dangerous. Pulling over to the side is silly and unproductive, so what is left? Just drive on with care.
Today's set-back can grow to be life-altering and catastrophic in my head, or even just worrisome. My best counsel to both you and me: Drive on! The surprise around the next bend is likely not as disastrous as we think.
